How to Break the Negativity Cycle and Rewire Your Mind for Success and Confidence
Have you ever found yourself stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts, wondering why it feels so easy to dwell on the worst-case scenario but so difficult to focus on the good? You're not alone. Our brains are wired for survival, constantly scanning for threats and prioritising negativity to keep us safe. What if this built-in alarm system is working overtime, keeping you in a cycle of stress and anxiety? This week, we’re diving into the fascinating tango between your brain’s ‘CEO’ and its ever-vigilant ‘Bodyguard’—and, more importantly, how you can take back control.
Read on to:
🧠Learn: Why negative thoughts are so much easier than positive ones (and how to overcome this).
💡Discover: All about power dressing, ai for business and the truth about network marketing.
🌟 Meet: Our very first Freedom Collective founder member!
Let's get stuck in ....
Who's the Boss?
A tale about the CEO and the Bodyguard
Have you ever noticed how quickly and easily your mind jumps to a negative thought and how much effort it takes to look for a positive thought?
The good news is that you are not alone. Research suggests that we have thousands of thoughts every day, many of which are repetitive and negative. Although the exact number of thoughts is impossible to determine, there is no doubt that our brains prefer to focus on negative thoughts more than positive ones. This phenomenon is known as negativity bias, and is believed to be an evolutionary survival mechanism, designed to make us more aware of threats to our safety.
Since it is part of our makeup, it should come as no surprise to know that negativity bias influences decision-making, memory formation, and emotions, often leading to chronic anxiety and stress. In extreme cases, repetitive catastrophic thinking can lead to panic attacks, which people often describe as feeling like they're about to have a heart attack—the body gets fully involved.
Understanding what is happening inside your brain and body is the first step to recognising that you are not the problem! You are not a 'Negative Nancy' (apologies to any Nancys out there). It's just your brain and body doing their best to keep you safe.
In my newsletter last week, I talked about your internal bodyguard, who is always on watch 24/7/365. Without getting too technical, that bodyguard lives in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for threat detection. When a threat is detected, your bodyguard sounds the alarm and floods your system with cortisol to alert the CEO (your prefrontal cortex), who then decides the next steps.
Here's the thing about your bodyguard: it works on the principle that a false alarm is better than missing a threat, so it can be a little jumpy! The CEO's job is to assess the situation and either deactivate the alarm or move your body into action to fight, hide, or run. Sounds perfect, right?
What could go wrong?
The relationship works in theory until neuroplasticity complicates things. The science of neuroplasticity tells us that the brain is constantly remapping and rewiring itself, meaning that the more a brain map or neural pathway is used, the thicker it becomes. Therefore, the more often a thought pattern occurs, the stronger the brain map associated with that thought pattern becomes.
Thus, the more negative thoughts you have, the more your brain becomes wired for negativity. As they say, "neurons that fire together wire together" (Hebb's Law). So, when negative thoughts are frequent, breaking the habit of thinking negatively becomes harder.
The implications of this for our physical as well as mental health are significant; persistently high levels of stress hormones in the body are linked to chronic diseases, premature death, and a general lack of well-being.
With chronic stress or persistent negative thinking, it's as if your CEO has stepped out onto the balcony for a ciggie and hasn't noticed the alarm going off. This scenario can happen over months or even years. The longer the alarm rings, the more stress hormones rise, leading to a flood in the brain and body, which can result in a hostile takeover by your bodyguards (sometimes called an amygdala hijack). You might recognise this as a sudden surge of emotion with a rapid heartbeat, tunnel vision, and difficulty thinking clearly. Examples include road rage, snapping at a colleague, or impulsive, angry email responses. The aftermath is often embarrassment, shame, and regret.
How to overcome negativity bias
I am going to share four strategies to bring your CEO back online and begin the process of hardwiring the modulation behaviour so that your prefrontal cortex (your CEO) quickly and effectively recognises the difference between a false alarm and a real threat and either shuts down a false alarm or responds appropriately to a real problem. Try these techniques for the next few weeks, and you will notice a distinct improvement in your focus, mental clarity and sense of well being. You may even find yourself smiling more!
🌿 Mindfulness: Take 5 minutes (or more) to observe your thoughts without judgement. Anchor yourself with your breathing. When you notice your thoughts running away, return to your breathing and observe again. Meditation isn't about stopping your thoughts; it's about becoming mindful of them so you can bring your CEO back from the balcony, that's the skill to develop.
🙏 Gratitude Thinking: Science shows that naming things you are grateful for daily, whether aloud to another person or in your journal, is directly linked to higher happiness levels.
Interestingly, it's not having something to be grateful for but the action of searching for things to be thankful for that rewires the brain. Over time, you train your brain to look for the good stuff before fixating on the negative, so your bodyguard becomes less jumpy! Spend time every evening noting three things you are grateful for that day. Start your business meetings with wins for the day or the week, and watch productivity, innovation, and creativity soar.
💪 Physical Exercise: Your brain is not separate from your body. Exercising the body also exercises the brain. Research confirms that exercise helps the brain build neural pathways and triggers mood-enhancing brain chemicals like endorphins and dopamine. Take a walk or a jog in the fresh air and watch your mood improve, and your thinking get sharper!
🤝 Social Connections: The human is a social creature. Our brains are wired for social connection since staying part of the tribe is crucial to our survival as a species. Our brains have evolved to help us with this by releasing oxytocin, a brain chemical that encourages us to form bonds with others. The better our social connections are, the lower our stress levels are, and the longer we live. Hang around with high hope, high optimism people, and your biologically driven imperative to fit in will raise your levels of hope and optimism too!
I am not a pessimist; I am a realist! The Case for Optimism
The debate is no longer between pessimism, optimism, or realism. By now, we know that 'reality' is subjective. The real question is, what do you want your reality to look and feel like?
What would you want your subjective experience of the quality of your life to be?
Studies show that optimistic people tend to live 30% to 70% longer than pessimistic people. They also recover more quickly from illness, perform better in all spheres, and enjoy more satisfying marriages, social connections, and relationships. Indeed, high-hope people outperform others in business, too, owing to higher resilience, innovativeness, and grit.
So, you still want to be a 'realist'?
Here is a tiny bit of realism for you.
Since the brain's default mode is threat scanning, building new neural pathways for optimism and hope requires daily, conscious work. You will never switch off the tendency towards negativity. However, you can build stronger, more positive neural pathways with consistent practice. The old negativity network won't disappear completely, though with time, it will become less dominant, and your CEO will be able to deactivate false alarms more quickly.
Remember, sometimes, despite your best intentions, the right combination of cues will activate your old negativity network. Your job in that moment is to recognise what happened, bring your CEO in from the balcony, deactivate the alarm, and activate the newly formed hope and optimism pathways.
What are your wins for this week? Hit REPLY and let me know! Let's celebrate together!
My big WIN for the Week!
I am super proud and grateful to have been featured on the cover of this month's bossbabes. magazine. This edition showcases powerhouse businesswomen and excellent writers. Packed with articles, inspiration, and insights on topics from network marketing myths and AI for business success to fitness truths, dressing for success, self-care, and mental well-being, this is a great read!
💖 Read on for all this and more! Click here to get your FREE copy!
Updates from the Freedom Collective
Meet out first Founder Member, Sascha Buck
We are thrilled to welcome Sascha Buck as our very first Founder Member of The Freedom Collective! 🎊 Sascha is a powerhouse entrepreneur, the visionary behind Gallop & Giggles and Dinkie Marketing, where she helps businesses shine online with creative, high-impact marketing strategies.
Through Dinkie Marketing, she empowers small businesses with:
✨ Eye-catching, original content that makes an impact.
📢 Strategic posts, stories, and reels to boost brand awareness.
🤝 Customer relationship management that strengthens connections.
🎨 Visually stunning content that stops the scroll.
📆 Stress-free content scheduling so brands stay consistent.Sascha brings her passion, expertise, and unstoppable energy to The Freedom Collective, and we couldn’t be more excited to have her on board! 🚀 Welcome, Sascha! 💛
"I'm excited to join the Freedom Collective because it offers invaluable business coaching and training that will help me grow my brands with confidence and clarity. Being part of a network of like-minded entrepreneurs is an incredible opportunity to learn, collaborate, and take my businesses to the next level!" ~Sascha Buck
What if you could achieve more, without losing yourself in the process?
For over 17 years, I’ve helped people rewire their brains for success, confidence, and lasting change. This year, I’m on a mission to reach more women than ever before—women who refuse to settle, who know they’re meant for more, and who are ready to step into their full potential (without losing themselves in the process).
That’s why I created The Freedom Collective—a high-impact group coaching and mastermind membership designed to help you:
✨ Break through limiting beliefs and step into unshakable confidence
🚀 Scale your business with less hustle and grind (more joy and peace of mind!)
🤝 Surround yourself with a powerhouse community of women who get it
We kick off on 3 April 2025 at 10:30 AM. Join before 31 March, and you’ll unlock an exclusive Founder’s Bonus—a 90-minute 1:1 deep-dive coaching session to give you a head start on your transformation.
🔥 Spots are limited—once they’re gone, they’re gone! Don’t miss your chance to be part of this movement.
👉 Click here to explore The Freedom Collective
REMEMBER If you join before 31 March, you may qualify for a special Founders Bonus - a FREE 1:1 Deep Dive into your business (valued at R7500)
Your mind is your most powerful tool—train it well, and it will serve you for a lifetime. This week, take small but deliberate steps to rewire your thinking, challenge negativity, and build resilience. Growth isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. So, be patient with yourself, celebrate your wins, and keep leaning into the work that shapes your future. Until next week—stay curious, stay courageous, and keep growing!
Much Love,
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